Zebra-Girl and the Case of the Disappearing Fingernails
So, every so often my wife reminds me that I have nails, both on my fingers AND toes, and that while my goal of becoming a human velociraptor may be noble, it makes living and sleeping with me hazzardous for her, so she makes me clip them.The other day was fingernail day. I was sitting on the couch clipping dutifully my fingernails to non-disemboweling length, when little Zebra-Girl came walking up all inquisitive:
"What...what...what you doing?"
"I'm clipping my fingernails, baby girl."
"Clip my...my...my fingernails."
"No, baby girl, you don't need your nails clipped, and when you do you'll want momma to do it because she's less likely to clip a while finger off."
At this point she just stands and watched.
*clip*
*clip*
*clip*
"Zebra-Girl...What happened to my pile of nails?"
"... ... ..."
"Get on out of hear...we don't need a mine field of dadda nail clippings on the floor."
Zebra-Girl walks away...Oddly not upset. Thrifty Momma looked as Zebra-Girl left the room.
"Asshole, I think she has your fingernails with her."
"Zebra-Girl...Bring me back my fingernails."
Sure enough, she had nearly pulled off the perfect crime and walked off, per my own instruction, with my fingernails.
Now...what was my darling three-year-old daughter going to do with my fingernail clippings?
posted by Bodog @ 12:49 PM
2 Comments:
Hahahahahah! i was actually there for this but reading it again still makes me laugh. I can remember her perfectly, walking quickly away, with your fingernails clutched in each fist.
-Blue
Eeew! That's NASTY!
She was proably off to brew some sort of potion in an effort to bewitch you into extending bedtime or something. Everyone knows that nail clippings are vital evil-potion components!
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