PTA: Parent, Teacher, Asshole

News Rant Sunday

Today we have News Rant Sunday. Sometimes I have to rant about the news. Now, in the past two days, I have seen some inordinately rant-worthy stories. Some you may agree with me on, some you may not. My blog, my opinions...

The first item I saw in yesterday's paper is the story of the mother who smothers her 4-month-old child while nursing. Now, let's make sure you have all the details: mother, intoxicated, nurses child...strike 1. You nurse a baby while you are drunk, you are giving the kid alcoholic milk. I'm pretty sure a 4-month-old is under the legal age limit. Now, she's not just intoxicated, she's so fucking smashed that she passes the fuck out! So, "intoxicated" is putting it mildly....Strike 2. You get so drunk you pass out while in college, not recommended, but not that big of a deal. The worst thing that could likely happen would be oversleeping for that 8:00 am class on a day you have a test. But then, if you were partying and not studying, I doubt actually taking the test would do much good. I'm off topic. You are a parent and you get so drunk you pass out! She has 4 other children! She's drunk, she's nursing, she passes out and an hour later, she comes to and her child isn't breathing. She and husband try and resuscitate...wait, husband? SHE HAS A FUCKING HUSBAND? What the HELL has he been doing? Was he drunk and passed out too? If not, why the hell is he allowing his wife to care for his children in such a state. Momma's drunk, momma's not taking care of the children until she's sober. Them's the rules. She's been sentences to 7 years. She won't serve the whole sentence, not even half, get out, continue drinking.......

Item 2 from yesterdays newspaper...the NAACP is honoring John Brown. John Brown, if you don't know, was a raving psychotic who killed 5 men in Kansas during the whole Bleeding Kansas debacle and raided a federal arsenal in Harper's Ferry. YOU'RE HONORING THIS MAN? Maybe the NRA should honor David Koresh in 100 years. He was just a gun enthusiast, right? It'll be ok, too...because they won't be celebrating the violence Koresh perpetuated. They'll just be celebrating his commitment to the Second Amendment. I'm sure, while we are at it, we can find some reason to honor and celebrate the commitment of Charles Manson and Ted Kaczynski, too. I mean, Unabomber Ted was just committed to independence from evil technology, and after the robots turn on humanity and try and kill us, Ol' Ted will look like a messiah! And Green Peace can honor Manson for his brutal murders in the name of ATWA, Air-Trees-Water-Animals. Because he wanted to abolish slavery, the fact that he murdered people isn't that big of a deal? Yeah, and Hitler just wanted to lead Germany to unification with all German peoples and economic prosperity. Every insane madman has some noble purpose. Some justification for his horrible acts. THAT DOESN'T MAKE THEM GOOD PEOPLE!

Item 3, found in today's newspaper, is the UN. They've sanctioned North Korea. The sanctions...no imports to or exports from North Korea of missiles, missile parts, or anything that could be used to make weapons of mass destruction. The UN has put North Korea in time out. And North Korea has said, "No!" See, North Korea is looking for a reason, any reason, to go to war. They've said they will consider any sanctions as an act of war. They've said they are going to continue with their weapons tests. They've threatened us to keep our big, honking American nose out of their business. Kim Jong-Il needs to be told something more than "go to your room and think about what you've done." For the recond, Pyongyang, the capital of North Korea, it's anagram is Gyp 'N' Agony. North Korea: Rank Hooter. Kim Jong-Il: Mil Joking. No what that means? The leader of a smelly tit of a country is playing a lot of jokes with the world from his capital of cheats and agony.

Item 4, also from today's newspaper...Jerry Buck Inman. Jerry Buck killed a girl in nearby (to me) Clemson, South Carolina. What's to rant about? He's arrested, right. Well, see, he's been arrested before. For rape. When he was 17. He was also arrested for breaking and entering. Before convicted of the Florida rape and Tennessee B and E, he participated in a gang rape of another inmate. These arrests got him put in prison, sentenced to 20 years, and in 10 years he attempted to break out of jail twice. I'm sure he did some other horrible, atrocious things...Why the 10 year limit to his attempts at escape? Because after 10 years, he was released. Aww. Isn't that nice, giving Jerry Buck a second chance...except that after 3-months of supervised release, he's sent back. I guess Jerry Buck had trouble fitting in. 6 years later, he's released again. Still hasn't served 20 years. You know, if you try and break out of prison...not only should it be automatic serve the whole term no chance of parole, but you should also have years tacked on. "Aw, Jerry Buck, you don't wanna stay wif us for 20 years? Well, how 'bout 30 instead." So, he's released in 2005. Nine months later, he kills Tiffany Marie Souers. What does the Anagram Gods say should be done to Jerry Buck? Anagram for Jerry Buck Inman: Jerky, Manic burn. There you have it folks, he is a manic jerk and he should burn. He shouldn't have been released.

Fifth and final item, Dennis and Molly McCurry have been starving their adopted children. The 5 year old weighed less than 20 lbs. My 1 year old weighs more than 20 lbs. The kids say they were chained to beds to keep them away from food while Dennis, Molly, and their biological daughter ate nicely. Between these guys and Boozer Mom up there, I don't...I mean...there aren't words.

Well, there are...

To Boozer Mom (her name is Lorinda J. Hawkins), John Brown, David Koresh, Charles Manson, Adolph Hitler, Ted Kaczinsky, Kim Jong-Il, Jerry Buck, and Dennis and Molly McCurry, and while we are at it, let's throw in Lebanon and Israel both...FUCK...YOU!

posted by Bodog @ 9:49 AM