Beatles, Fathers-in-Law, and Onion Memes, Oh My!
Ok, I'm going to cram 3 topics into one Blog. Don't worry, I've greased the sides of both the blog and the topics, I've got my shoe horn, and a mallet...Let's get started.Seems Liverpool's making the news. Apparently, Liverpool has a dark and seedy history as a part of the slave trade, and a number of the Liverpool streets are named after slave traders of the past. Funny, Liverpool is hardly synonymous with slavery. I've never threatened my children, when being especially annoying and hyper, to Liverpool them to the highest bidder. But, despite this, Liverpool felt the need to change some of its street names...That is...until...Penny Lane. That's right! Penny Lane, made famous by those hairy Brits, the Beatles, was named after a slave trader.
I imagine things occurred in the Liverpool capital a little something like this...
Liverpool City Official 1: We were right bloody bastards in the past and we have a lot of bloody street names associated with our bloody bastardiness with that whole bloody slave trade thing. Let's change all the bloody street names associated with the bloody slave trade.
Liverpool City Official 2: Good bloody idea...but, isn't Penny Lane named after a bloody slave trader?
LCO1: Bloody and?
LCO2: "AND!?!" Bloody 'ell! And the bloody Beatles have a song about it. That's the only bloody reason people come to bloody Liverpool, for that bloody street. We can't bloody change it!
LCO1: Oh, right. Bloody nevermind then.
I find this amusing because, as stated, no one thinks of Liverpool as a cesspool of slavery and bigotry. Most people, probably even living in Liverpool, didn't realize Penny was the last name of a Liverpool slave trader, much less any other street names they were going to change...But also, rather than change the street names for what I would assume would be noble, all-be-it misguided reasons, once they found out the most famous part of Liverpool would have to change its name, then they backed off. Money 1; Morals 0! I don't support these kinds of things, but this ammuses me.
And so, after telling my wife about the lively Liverpool antics,
Thrifty Momma accused me of complaining about her wacko diet and caffeine depravation experiments on her blog!
"How can you complain about me cutting out caffeine and being on a wacko diet when you know I've been eating like a squirrel at a nut buffet!"
"I didn't!"
"You did! Your newest comment!"
"I didn't...I talked about Diet Coke being my vehicle for caffeine."
"You did! Just yesterday!"
"I didn't!"
"Oh, wait...yeah, that was my dad. I'm always mixing you two up."
"Dear, Freud on line one..."
And, with that, I will be in trouble...I'll go ahead and admit that's a paraphrase of the conversation, but you get the basic idea. I'll still be in trouble. First sign that it's not the real conversation...If my lovely, beautiful, genius wife ever says something about a "nut buffet", I'd say, "Well, dear, I have your nut buffet right here" and give an alluring cock thrust. But after this post, I fear my nut buffet is apt to be cracked.........
And finally, the Onion Meme from Indigo Girl. Damn, I know memes tend to be long, but this one's a beast! I think I'll do a couple of layers a day. Today...Layers 1 and 2:
LAYER ONE:
– Name: Clark "Bodog" Asshole
- Birth date: July 14, 1974
– Birthplace: Columbia, South Carolina. In the same hospital all 4 of my children were born, and my wife for that matter.
– Current Location: Prosperity, South Carolina, in my chair, with a cat on me...
– Eye Color: Green or hazel or greenish hazel or hazelish green...something like that.
– Hair Color: Brown
– Height: 5'11"
– Righty or Lefty: Righty...that's for hands AND politics
– Zodiac Sign: Cancer...The Crab...I'm crabby...I'm a cancer...I should chance my name to Mel...Mel Anoma...
LAYER TWO:
– Your heritage: Pretty Scots/Irish as far as I know
– The shoes you wore today: I dunno. They are black leather shoes and they say George on them. That's all I know.
– Your weakness: Um, Full Figured women...comic books...guilt
– Your fears: I FEAR NOTHING! The previous statement doesn't cover parental inadequacies, parental and professional failures, death, and super-intelligent ants getting into my underwear.
– Your perfect pizza: Thrifty's homemade pizza with pepparoni.
– Goal you'd like to achieve: One goal? Heh, PORN STAR! Ok, no...uh, successful and confident children; District teacher-of-the-year; comic book writer; world domination
Tune in tomorrow for Layers 3 and 4 when we find out what the Asshole thinks first thing in the morning and whether or not the Asshole endorses McDonalds or Burger King...
posted by Bodog @ 3:57 PM
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