PTA: Parent, Teacher, Asshole

Open Wound Monday...and Assorted Bits and Pieces

Ok, I haven't been keeping up with my blogging and every couple of days or so, something happens and I think, "I's gottsta blog 'bout dis", because apparently my internal monologue is voiced by Seth Green in his role from Can't Hardly Wait...If you're not positive...that's Seth on the far left with the goggles.

As Seth's character Kenny would say...Anywizzay...On, with the blog...

Unfortunately, going back to work has interfered with my groove...not that I had much groove...but I'm going to blame work anyway.

Ok, so some of the stuff I wanted to blog about includes...

I must be Marlin Perkins, because I live in the Wild Kingdom. See, not only do I have metamorphing beasts who rum up and down the hall saying they are sharks, or dinosaurs, or Nightcrawlers (the superhero from the X-Men, not the worms), or everything in the ocean...True story, Delta-Boy ran into the room one day and said, quite proudly, "I'm everything in the ocean!" He continues to do that every so often. And Sierra-Girl is ALWAYS Catball, which is a reference to the Newton in a Bottle video with a computer cat that turns into a ball. Not only do I have those 4 random animals running about, but I have toy animals EVERYWHERE...and some very realistic rubber animals that lurk in the shadowy hall and creep into your peripheral vision just enough so that you go, "AHH! It's a beetle!" or "AHH! It's a snake!" or "AHH! It's a tyranosaurus. Do I stand still and hope he sees by movement like they said in Jurassic Park? But I heard that that wouldn't have been true, so do I need to book down the hall and hope for the best?" But then you realize it is not in fact a real tyranosaurus, but a little toy...heh.

Another blog that didn't get blogged was that I discovered what true flattery is...I was sitting in my chair, much like I am now, cruising the internet highways and byways and NOT looking at porn (hey, honey). Sierra-Girl was sitting on The Landing leading into the family room playing with a phone and I heard her saying, "Hey Dada...bye....Hey Dada...bye..." and every so often, "Hey Dada...uh uhn uh uhnn uh...bye." That's flattery. I mean, a child calling you when you're playing phones is one thing...but your 2 year old daughter calling you over and over when you're not playing...that's flattery.

ANd finally, what I was going to blog about today, once it happened...OPEN WOUND MONDAY!

That's right, folks...today was special because today I got myself a gaping wound! AND, the best part...I'm going to share!

Ooh-eee, will you look at that! Now, that's the best open wound I've had since that 200 lbs. ram tried to wrap my hand around a tree.

How did this gem occur? Our goats eat from a round bail of hay, and we wrap a "Hay Ring" around the hay. The Hay Ring is some sort of stock panelling cut long, with a little extra tied at the end for flexibility and insurance that it will go around the whole hay bail. Well, we rolled a new bail in recently and it needed the ring, lest goats start dancing on it and ruining it, so I moved it today. Well, last time I moved the ring, I got shocked because it hit the electric fence, so this time, I endeavored to control more carefully the progress of the ring, a fairly unwieldy and cumbersome item when stretched and unrung. Well, as I tried to carefully avoid the electric fence, I lost control. It wobbled and jiggled and fell on its side, which jerked the end I was holding up out of my hand and then trust it back down across my knee. Now, some people may say I should do the chores in jeans, but if I start to do that, what kind of wounds would I have to show you then? Yeah, nothing special...So until it turns cold, I stick with no jeans chores...for you.

posted by Bodog @ 6:36 PM