PTA: Parent, Teacher, Asshole

First Day Back...There's No "Jerk" in Team...

Ok, today was the first day back to work. No students, just teachers, staff, getting ready...having meetings, learning how to break fingers, fun stuff.

Last year was drama central, so while I've set my mind to being optimistic and trying to lead the wayward souls of my coworkers to a more pleasant and successful year. But it's been hard to forget some of the shenanigans from last year...but damn it, I'm going to do everything I can to prevent last year from happening again.

Today's endeavor? Getting everyone to lunch together. We were breaking for our lunch hour and I loudly said, "Hey, why don't we ALL eat together?" Idea fairly well received. Over half of the group decided to go along. SUCCESS!

But wait...Is there a chink in the plan? Well, I was in the first load to arrive at the restaurant. Someone asked, "So, do we go on in?"

I say, "No, we need to wait because I don't know how many are in the second group."

Then, my archenemy rears his ugly head...Now, before I go on, my archenemy here is not a specific person, it's a mentality...It's the unwillingness to accommodate...My archenemy said, "No, let's go on and get a table."

I stayed outside while they went in. I waited for my other coworkers while the others were sitting down. They took the first booth available. Seats 4. We were 4 in the first load...No room at all for the others. Well, thank you team player.

I apologized to the second group, posited a couple of less than perfect solutions (eating outside in the 95 degree heat), and it was decided to just eat separately. Well, fuck.

But then a light...the tables next to us open up. Two tables next to each other. I scramble up, go and say, "Hey, these two tables opened up, want us to pull one of those tables to us and sit as a group?"

"Sure."

So I go and start moving one of the tables. A waiter comes up and says, "Sir, we can't have a table here."

Archenemy (from the same guy too), "No, Asshole, you can't do that."

Well, how bout you fucking help me come up with a way to get us together as a group like was originally planned but which you ruined by being impatient and non-accommodating, buddy.

Luckily, someone in group 2 knew, realized, figured out what I was trying to do and said, "Well, why don't we all just move to the paired tables you were getting that one from."

HALLELUIA!

Damn it...I'm trying to get us to be a team and cutting the stragglers to fend for themselves IS NOT ACTING LIKE A TEAM!!! Fucking jerk.

The day on the whole went well save for that little incident. I'm a lot more authentically optimistic about this year than I was before today when I had to try to be optimistic. Still, clearly, there are some issues we need to overcome.

And the comment about learning how to break fingers is kind of real. Technically it was a simple selfdefense course and a lot of the stuff we were shown we were also told not to use except for life and death situations, so we wouldn't want to use them in most student situations. But I know, basically, how to grab a gun out of someone's hand while breaking or at least dislocating his finger. So, that's cool. When I snap and need to go all Rambo on people, I'll have the skills now. I should be getting my school district issued license to kill by the first day of school with students.

posted by Bodog @ 5:36 PM