PTA: Parent, Teacher, Asshole

News from the Frontline: The Case of the Disappearing Teacher

This is Mr. Asshole reporting from the front lines of the Battle of Education. Today, I'm sorry to report, we have reports of teachers diosappearing. As teachers go about their daily assignments, wrangling students from Concentration Portable to Concentration Portable, teachers seem to be randomly disappearing.

These are accounts which I personally witnissed...

Everyday after the morning hike, your faithful news reporter...ok, not so faithful since it's been a long time since I reported...but your...intrepid...yes...intrepid news reporter takes the daily head count and any reports or papers which need to be delivered to HQ...At the usual time, however, one teacher from my crack squad disappeared in a flash along with the head count and a discipline report on one rowdy inmate. I sought out the missing teacher and the reports, but immediately after retrieving the head count, she disappeared yet again with the discipline report. Of note is that during her disappearance, the students she was meant to guard were unattended. I have no students to attend to at that time.

In a similar incident, a teacher, many suspect the same teacher, disappeared from watching the lunch isolation tank in search of a wayward inmate. I, your intrepid reporter, whose assignment sheet placed me on lunch guard, was about to head for the mess hall before realizing my grub was in the officers lounge. No sooner had I said that I needed to retrieve it than the teacher, again early reports suggest the same teacher, disappeared leaving the lunch isolation tank without guard. I had to delay reporting in to mess hall guard until I was relieved by the isolation tank guard.

Rumors abound, from this disappearing teacher being a phantom of a teacher long since dead to an Iraqi spy disguised as an American teacher. As the victim of these disappearings, though...I have to wonder about a set-up.

Ok, seriously...She left me in a lurch twice...when it only made since that I go...I had no class in the first story, which is why I always take the attendence sheet...I had lunch duty in the second, which is why it made more sense for me to go even if everyone had to wait a minute and a half to get my fucking lunch box...She left students unattended twice...she pretty much ran past me twice to go where it only made sense for me to go...

Things will turn ugly if these things continue...

posted by Bodog @ 9:02 PM