PTA: Parent, Teacher, Asshole

A Teacher's Nightmare

I had a nightmare...

I had transferred to Local Middle School (although as dreams often do, I knew what it was supposed to be, but it didn't look anything like the real deal). Th teacher's name whom I replaced was still on the door, but they had my named written on paper and taped up. "Mr. Asswhole". DAMNIT! Why do they ALWAYS misspell my name?

The whole school is chaotic, students and teachers just wandering the halls at all times. Amongst them my original boss, the guy who first gave me a teaching job. A man I greatly respect. So when things went bad, his presence made things worse.

First, it turned out that my room was infested with bees. They were buzzing all around me, and I was trying to herd them out of the door, because bees are herd animals, apparently. One of my students ran up to me yelling, "Mr. Asshole, I'll get them!" and he starts swinging at them. This riles them up (Yes, I said "riles") and they sting me. Now, when I think of bees stinging I always imagine quite vividly, even in my dreams in seems, the stinger sticking in my skin, and as the bees flies away, his innards slewsh out in a grotesque fashion onto my skin, but in my nightmare, it wasn't imagination. I needed a towel to wipe bee innards off of my skin.

Then I realized that some students, female students, had gotten a hold of my laptop.

"What are you doing with that!?"
*GIGGLE*
"Give me that!"

When I got my laptop back, I saw they had changed the wallpaper of my laptop to a picture of the group of girls, naked, laying in a mass.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING? I COULD GET FIRED!"

Then class changed, I wandered off to get a refreshment and...lost my classroom. It was either 8 or 18, but I could remember which, and my name had fluttered off of the door. I knew people were talking about me. The ineffectual teacher from the Alty School, so I was hesitant to ask for help. Luckily, I found my room.

The next class had, oddly enough, adults alongside students. I tried to teach, but the adults were disrupting the class. I got frustrated and told all the adults to leave, and I was promptly ignored. So I threatened to call the Student Resource Officer, and was continued to be ignored. So I went looking for the call button to the office. They realized I was done playing and the adults, plus several students, started leaving. I instructed the students to remain in the class, not that they listened. I could have used the walkie talkie, but again, I knew I was already being talked about.

As I circled the room (It was a circular room!) a kid tossed a mechanical device to me. I didn't know what it was, but it was warm, clearly doing something. I tossed the contraption back. As I circled I heard a kind of exploding noise and all the electronics, save for some of the ceiling lights, went out. I knew right away, it was a device that emitted an electro-magnetic pulse. I turned around to tell the kid to go to the office. As I approached him, the kid tossed me another, much smaller device. It had very small screen on it. It must have been shielded from an EM pulse. It showed me, with the EM device tossing it to the kid, and then it going off. It looked like I had set off the device that fried most of the school's electronics!

posted by Bodog @ 2:23 PM