PTA: Parent, Teacher, Asshole

What's Really Embarrassing About American Politics

Today's newspapers carried the final vote counts from the November 7th election, and it was kind of disheartening. I don't mind being out-voted, except the election system is poorly set up...

Ok, before I go any further, let me say this...I love the United States and even when the government and heads-of-state seem to be doing a crap job (and I'm thinking Clinton here...), I still love this country. You'll never hear me say "FUCK IT! I'm moving to Canada!"

And I'm not a Dubya hater. I can't say he's been doing a great job, but I also don't think he's an embarrassment to the country.

And I'm not a party man...I don't vote only Republican, though they tend to get my votes, and I don't refuse to vote Democrats, though I don't frequently vote for Dems, and I don't consider voting for a third-party candidate to be a waste and have voted third-party before.

Which is where my problem with the election system that I see comes in. See, I voted for more Democrats this year than any previous year. It's not because of disgruntlement with the Iraqi War or gas prices or anything like that...it's because when I sat down and read what the prominent issues were for my state and what the candidates said about these issues, I liked a lot of the Dems' responses. Rarely does that happen, and I have to take some things with which I don't agree, but for the key issues the Democrats seemed to have more of the better answers...this time.

And only one Dem won...

...

...

Well, it's South Carolina...I love this state, but with it comes some baggage...namely traditionally Republican electees.

So my question is...do South Carolinians vote for Republicans because they really agree with what the Republicans are saying every single time and are always happy with the results every single time...or is it something "Pa always said...vote Republican..."

and that concern is where my election reform comes in. It's to easy to go in, vote straight party without looking at all at whom you are electing. So toss that function out...that's phase one. Did I tell you there are 3 phases to my election reform? Sorry...There are 3 phases for my election reform proposal.

Phase one...No more straight party option: Sure people can still go through and pick all Republicans or all Democrats...but it's not as easy and some people, forced with actually picking a name rather than a party may do a little more research.

Phase two...Platform and positions on key issues provided in the voting booth: By removing the straight party option, hopefully people will realize they are voting for people, not parties...now make it easy for them to decide by providing the key information one where the candidates stand on key issues. Also make sure you include all Independents. You should still encourage people to follow debates and listen to speeches...but some platform cliff notes can help and can easily be done. After all, a similar thing is done with laws and amendments up for a vote. But people can still go through picking only D's or R's without reading the cliff notes, which brings us to...

Phase three...remove party designation from the ballot: Now you can't just blindly pick Dems or Pubs. Well, ok, you can if you memorize your party's candidates' names...But hopefully people will be looking more at names...people...rather than parties. I'm not talking about a total removal of political parties in American politics...just this one place...the ballot. It'll help even the playing field for third parties who don't get as much news. I mean, there were like eight different candidates for the Superintendent of Education position and the only two discussed were the Pub and Dem candidates...not the Green or Libertarian or any of the other party candidates.

I wonder if someone has the statistics on straight party votes. I'm sure it's out there somewhere...and I'm sure it's embarrassing...more embarrassing than Dubya with a pretzel stuck down his craw.

posted by Bodog @ 9:20 PM 4 comments

News from the Frontline: The Case of the Disappearing Teacher

This is Mr. Asshole reporting from the front lines of the Battle of Education. Today, I'm sorry to report, we have reports of teachers diosappearing. As teachers go about their daily assignments, wrangling students from Concentration Portable to Concentration Portable, teachers seem to be randomly disappearing.

These are accounts which I personally witnissed...

Everyday after the morning hike, your faithful news reporter...ok, not so faithful since it's been a long time since I reported...but your...intrepid...yes...intrepid news reporter takes the daily head count and any reports or papers which need to be delivered to HQ...At the usual time, however, one teacher from my crack squad disappeared in a flash along with the head count and a discipline report on one rowdy inmate. I sought out the missing teacher and the reports, but immediately after retrieving the head count, she disappeared yet again with the discipline report. Of note is that during her disappearance, the students she was meant to guard were unattended. I have no students to attend to at that time.

In a similar incident, a teacher, many suspect the same teacher, disappeared from watching the lunch isolation tank in search of a wayward inmate. I, your intrepid reporter, whose assignment sheet placed me on lunch guard, was about to head for the mess hall before realizing my grub was in the officers lounge. No sooner had I said that I needed to retrieve it than the teacher, again early reports suggest the same teacher, disappeared leaving the lunch isolation tank without guard. I had to delay reporting in to mess hall guard until I was relieved by the isolation tank guard.

Rumors abound, from this disappearing teacher being a phantom of a teacher long since dead to an Iraqi spy disguised as an American teacher. As the victim of these disappearings, though...I have to wonder about a set-up.

Ok, seriously...She left me in a lurch twice...when it only made since that I go...I had no class in the first story, which is why I always take the attendence sheet...I had lunch duty in the second, which is why it made more sense for me to go even if everyone had to wait a minute and a half to get my fucking lunch box...She left students unattended twice...she pretty much ran past me twice to go where it only made sense for me to go...

Things will turn ugly if these things continue...

posted by Bodog @ 9:02 PM 0 comments