PTA: Parent, Teacher, Asshole

Frozen Food Instructions...

...are insane! If you've eaten a lot of, and a wide variety of, frozen food, you already know what I'm talking about...the instructions that say things like, "Microwave for 10-25 minutes"...um, that's a pretty huge time gap there.

Well, this weekend, I tried something new and the instructions are absolutely insane. I am going to quote the instructions word for word. These instructions are not edited in any way...

1. Unwrap frozen product. Do not use microwave crisping sleeve.
2. Place frozen product on baking sheet.
3. Completely cover baking sheet with aluminum foil, crimp edges to seal.
4. Preheat over to 425 F and bake product for 32 minutes. Using a pot holder, remove product from oven. Product is ready to enjoy!

Ok, let's see what's odd here...

1) "Product"? Not "entree"? Not "sandwich"? Um, what a tasty product. I'd like another product, please. I need to pick up some more frozen products at the store....

2) "Using a pot holder"...The baking pan has been sitting in a 425 degree temperature environment for 32 minutes (why not 30?)...If you don't realize the pan will be hot to the touch, well, you probably shouldn't be eating anything, you should be on IV fluids. That I know where it came from...our wonderful, litiginous society suing over everything because our mommy always made sure we couldn't reach the hot pans, and our mommy made sure the food was cool enough before we ate it, but now mommy says we need to take care of ourselves...so now the stores, companies, and restaurants get to be our mommies...Your way right away? Fuck that! You know we put pickles on our burgers and you don't like pickles....pick your pickles off your damn self...or eat somewhere else. Ow, I drove while drinking hot coffee and burned myself, WAAAA!!!, Appease me and give me money! Uh, no, I don't think so, because if the coffee was luke warm, you'd bring it back a demand a new one...your actions, your responsibility...

3) Speaking of warnings about being burned...oddly enough, while the instructions remind us to use a pot holder (Thanks, ma!), the instructions do NOT remind us, like most frozen foods, to let the food cool for 1-2 minutes. This product has hot runny cheese, after being cooked, that could burn us...I wouldn't complain except, after I was told to make sure I use my pot holder, young man, I was expecting the instruction to tell me how to blow off my food to cool it, and cut it into smaller, more manageable pieces.

Seriously, anyone else sick and tired of our society treating everyone like children? Stop suing because then we look like whinny, "high needs" children...

posted by Bodog @ 6:16 PM