PTA: Parent, Teacher, Asshole

Last Day of Spring Break

Well, today's the last day of my Spring Break. I meant to BLOG more, but alas the chance to be grossly lazy was too overwhelming.

So this week, my Spring Break, I was Deputy Dad...and I've been on PooPatrol! The usual suspects? Three-Poo Pete and his older sister Stinky Pinky. I have 4 children...two potty trained, and two untrained. This week has been Poopalapalooza! Sitting watching a movie...wasting time on the internet...eating...and then, creeping from realms unknown...lurking just beyond comes...THE STINK! AAAAIIII!!!!

But worse...I see Stinky Pinky toddle by, or Three-Poo Pete army crawl by and I think, "Oh look...it appears that it's been raining in Nappy Valley...Time for a change in climate." So I take soggy baby to change the atmosphere and...AAAAIIII!!! The Lurking Poo! Hidden, unsensed...but waiting. ALL WEEK LONG!

This can't be normal! These babies poo more than their body weight in a day! I got the kitchen scales to check! So...I have a theory...See, the same thing happens on the weekend...Everytime I change a nappy, there's poo. There's only one explanation...because it's NOT normal. You know how I know? Their mother, my wife, doesn't spend all day talking about the tons of poo she's had to dispose of. No, they save their poo. All week long...they stockpile it. They release one load to keep Momma from taking them to visit the doctor...but otherwise, it's like a dragon hording gold.

Then...Dada's home...

"Stinky Pinky to Three-Poo Pete...Remove Control Rods, Let Over-Poo Production Commence."

WOO-OO WOO-OO

"Yes, honey, I'll change that nappy. You take it easy. Oh, look, a poo."

"Don't worry, I've got it. Huh, another poo."

"No no, it should be safe, I'll change this one...goddamn..."

"GOOD GRIEF! AGAIN!?!"

So I've been like an amusement park...Six Poos Over Dada...

Thank goodness I go back to work tomorrow...No more poos...just...stupidity.

I know, I know...for the most part (though not all parts) my students have an excuse...but explain my coworkers. People who were asked by The Boss, our Principal, to see him if they have a problem with something he's done BEFORE going to the District Office...not "instead of" or "rather than" or "If you go to the District Office, I will gut you like a fish"...No, he said "before"...asking for the opportunity to give him a chance to clarify or rectify the situation...Then, if you're not satisfied...go see people in the District Office.

What did one of these people do?

Went...to the district office...complaining...that we were told NOT to go to the District Office.

STUPID!

Anyway, in order to remind me of the utter stupidity The Parade, the insert magazine to my Sunday newspaper, provided a warm up in stupidity. The inside cover of The Parade has "Personality Parade" where readers write in questions about celebrities...This Sunday they had a question from some person asking if the late Roy Orbison wore a swastika and if he was anti-Semite. I read the question with interest until...I saw a picture...of Roy...with the "swastika" around his neck.


It's not anything CLOSE to a swastika.

What this person was thinking of is the Iron Cross used as a symbol of German forces.

Swastika

Iron Cross

The difference is astounding. I fear for a country where someone could mistake an Iron Cross for a swastika. Can we NOT at least teach what a swastika looks like?

Maybe, just maybe, our educational standards are in need of improvement...

posted by Bodog @ 7:32 PM