A Day at the Matinee
So, for my birthday, my wife and I went to the movies. It was actually a bit of a combination birthday/Christmas celebration because I was given gift cards for certain theaters which will remain unspecified until the theater chains decide to pay for the endorsement....waiting....there's still time....Ok, your loss...
Anyway, this was a significant event for me and my wife. See, we haven't walked into a movie theater in 8 years. For 8 years, all our movie watching has been rentals on the TV, which became a very nice wide-screen TV a couple of years ago.
And for the most part, we haven't missed the experience. I mean, prices are out of control, and that includes the refreshments. With the purchase of a large drink, you get free refills. Well, woop-de-fucking-doo. Has anyone drunk one of those and wanted more beverage? It's hard to finish, much less slosh your way back for more. And then it's a bladder endurance test, because you don't want to miss any movie just to see your same ol' urinary equipment doing its job...again.
Then, there's the crowd. People talking, using cell phones, and commentaries like they think they're a part of the Mystery Science Theater 3000 cast. SHUT UP! You know why going to a movie is a great date when you're a teen? You go to supper, eat and talk, then go to the film and sit for 2 hoours in silence. Then afterwards you have something else to talk about...the movie...
Or you miss the entire movie because you're lucky enough to have a date who is training for the US Olympic Tonsil Hockey Team.
The great thing about watching movies at home is that if we want to comment on something which happened, we can pause it and not miss anything. Or play tonsil hockey without missing the movie...but you get the point.
So if I'm in the theater and Chuck Schmuck is back there chatering away, I can't pause the movie...so SHUT YOUR HOLE!
But, things have gotten weird in the theater.
There are as many commercials as there are movie trailers. WTF?! Commercials, like in my day were only available on the television set, now giant in their obnoxiousness. Why is there an advert for Coke at a theater which only sells...Coke...? Hello?
And this renewed fascination with 3D. WHY THE HELL? Last 3D film I saw in the theater? Jaws III in 3D. That's 1983 ladies and gentlemen. It's been 27 years and someone in Hollywood decided to dust those moth balls off and give it another shot. Do you know what Jaws III taught me?
1) 3D effects don't help when the plot's crap.
2) When shooting a 3D film, directors seem more concerned about angling shots and putting things into shots to insure things coming out at the audience. "Why's he have a pitchfork in the middle of a city?" "Duh, cause it's going to poke out at the audience..."
3) 3D movies look like crap on a 2D television.
But despite my distaste for 3D movies, Hollywood insists on making them. There were like 3 previews of movies in 3D...Ugh!
I watched the My Bloody Valentine remake on my telly, so no, it hasn't gotten better.
It was cool going to the movies again with my beloved. But it's not something I want to return to doing on a regular basis. I thought that was how Hollywood felt about 3D...but here we go again...
posted by Bodog @ 2:25 PM
0 comments
