Friday, August 29, 2008

Back to School Meme

Back To School Meme



Completed in Reference to (Self or Child): Self

1. Number of years teaching or your eldest child has been in school (k through college) ? I started as half-a-teacher in 1999 a couple of months after the year began, some depending on how you count it, 8-9 years. This is Delta-Boy's second school year.

2. Amount approximately spent on Back to School Items so far including clothes? Of my own movey for myself? Not much. I've order about $120.00 of stuff with my school account. The children? I dunno...ask mom!

3. Number of Days until school starts in your area (+ or - if it’s started)? -3 not counting the weekend.

4. Approximate distance school is from your house? 10 minutes away. If I drive on average 50 miles per hour and not counting time spent at stop signs and lights, how far am I from my workplace? Feel free to use scrap paper in figuring out your answer...

5. Amount of time it will take you or your child to get to school from your house by car or bus? It takes about 20 minutes to get Delta-Boy and Zebra-Girl to school. That's by car. No bus for us!

6. The actual or approximate number of students in the class you teach or your oldest child’s class? In the entire middle school program, right now, we have eight, plus a couple who haven't come in to do paperwork. By the end of the year, at least 12 in each class guaranteed, probably more. I don't know about the children's classes.

7. The number of classes in your grade or your oldest child’s grade level? Four core classes, plus PE and art...then two other classes for remediation, or fun, or whatever we teachers feel like doing as long as it's not just watching a movie or something wasteful.

8. The price to buy a full student lunch at school? $2.25 plus .50 for a milk.

9. Number of schools in your district? 12 Elementary, 4 middle, 3 high, and us...so...whew, I thought I was going to run out of fingers and toes, but twenty...so one per digit.

10. Early dismissal days already built into the calendar? 0. Though we have late start Wednesday so around 36 late starts.

11. Price paid for the most expensive back to school item so far? I spent the most on personalized pencils that say "Proud Student of Mr. Asshole"

12. Time school day ends? 3:30

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Random Meme

I got this meme from Mrs. Chili at The Blue Door.

If you got trapped in an elevator with someone, who would you want it to be?
Naturally enough, my first choice is my wife. But I assume that we're thinking of famous people...So Queen Latifah or Janeane Garofalo. And Lewis Black cause I bet he'd make the time go by quickly. And my wife wouldn't think I made a pass at him.

What is your favourite cereal?
Todd up between Cap'n Crunch and Rice Krispies.

Do you own any cowboy boots?
No, you got some in a size 11?

What is something you would never do in public?
Um...never's a strong word. Belittle my wife and children, though I wouldn't do that in private either.

Have you ever had really strange dreams?
Often...frequently involving school or my college days.

Name a friend or loved on who has passed away?
Buddy

What’s your earliest memory?
Eh, I'm not real good with memories. Getting doughnuts with my dad on the way to preschool.

Have you ever broken a bone before, and if so, how?
Nope.

Have you ever stepped in dog poo?
Oh, yeah. It's one of my skill sets.

Ever bitten your toenails?
No, but if you offer the right price, I'll put on a toenail chewing show for you.

Who is your all time hero?
I think Grover Cleveland. I am fascinated by the people who become president (even the ones I don't like), and I find Cleveland to be one of the most moral presidents we've ever had.

What colors do you think mix well?
purple and black

What did you eat recently?
salisbury steak, niblet corn, and mashed potatoes with cheese mixed in. Banquet frozen meal.

What was your favorite cartoon movie as a child?
Jungle Book

What’s your favorite movie now?
Halloween, the greatest slasher flick. I mean the original. I plan on seeing Rob Zombie's remake...I just haven't yet.

Do you paint your toenails?
Um...

Is your computer a fast and awesome computer?
It's ok

What do you do, or want to do for a living?
I teach middle school language arts at an alternative school, and I have no plan on quitting, but I'd also love to run a comic book shop.

If one of your long lost exes called you and asked for you back, would you take them back?
Nope. I think my wife would take exception to that.

Have you ever been a Heartbreaker?
Yeah. As a junior and senior in high school I had climbed from social reject to a sought after commodity, and I took advantage of it. Eventually I grew out of it.

What’s your favorite instrument?
Banjo...I'm going to teach myself how to play...in theory.

What is a country you want to visit badly before you die?
Nepal. I love the mountains and Nepal has the best.

Have you made a bucket list?
Nope.

What things in history amuse you the most?
Claims that someone knows for a fact what the founding fathers intended with this or that. And anecdotes about government leaders. Especially presidents, but including foreign leaders.

Have you ever eaten lipstick?
Not that I know of, but give me a cheese sauce with it and we'll talk.

What are 3 accessories you have to be equipped with when you go out?
Pants...But if you don't consider that an accessory, then wallet, cell phone (ugh, I hate that), and pants.

Have you ever licked a window before?
Maybe...if it had cheese on it.

If someone dared you to run across a busy street for 1 thousand dollars, would you?
Depends on the rules. If I can choose when, sure.

Would you kill someone for 9 million dollars?
If the someone is trying to kill me or my family, yes...and for less.

Who is your worst enemy right now and why?
Time, or the lack there of...

Have you ever been in a physical fight with anyone before?
Nothing that got past pushing.

What brand of cell phone do you have and what service provider?
Verizon something or other.

Do you wear slippers or socks?
Socks...not slippers, though I would.

Do your feet stink?
That's another skill set.

Have you ever picked your butt in public?
Yeah, but just because no one I asked would do it for me.

What is the strangest pet you’ve ever owned?
A mouse.

Do you love life or hate it?
I love it, though it frustrates me to no end.

Who is the hottest person in the entire universe in your opinion?
I've got equal hottness on Queen Latifah, Janeane Garofalo, and Gina Torres,


What do you do every night before bed?
Take out the dogs.

Monday, August 25, 2008

What Do You Expect from a Monday Morning?

When I got to Delta-Boy's and Zebra-Girl's elementary school this morning, a teacher opened Delta-Boy's door to let him out, I was asking Zebra-Girl if she had unstrapped and Delta-Boy was telling the teacher that his book bag was in the back. She, the teacher, slid open the side door and Zebra-Girl was crawling across the seat. The teacher was helping Delta-Boy with his book bag and asking about my lunch box, also in the back with the other bags, and then Zebra-Girl hauled her bag up and said, "And this is mine."

The teacher said, "She's not...is she coming too?"

No, I ask my daughter to unstrap every time we stop as a test, and the book bag is just to keep her from feeling jealous...

Sunday, August 24, 2008

School's Back! It's All Fun and Games Until...

School started back. A week of getting ready and then students back this past Thursday.

First, we went on a retreat to a lake house from Thursday to Saturday where we did team building activities and talked about what was changed from last year. It was a lot of fun. It was a large house with two kitchens and we split into two teams and had a cook off. We played games, got to know the new people, it as fun all around.

Until...

I learned that one of my coworkers left early because we don't work on Saturday. And another coworker said that since legally we can't be asked to work on Saturday without compensation, a request for comp hours was going to be made.

Buzz kill...My compensation was the belief that we might work better as a team...Silly me.

Then at our "kick off" where all the employees gather and hear from the superintendent and sometimes a guest speaker, our guest speaker was great! Humor, lots of energy, good message. I thougt it was great!

Until...

One of my coworkers said, "If they asked everyone if we wanted a guest speaker or not, I'd bet they'd get a unanimous 'No'"

Buzz kill...I like the guest motivational speakers.

It's funny how some people just have a sour attitude. I would have liked more time in my room. I would have preferred to not leave my wife and children while I went away. But rather than focus on the negative, I look for the positive. I don't care if some people can't find the positive...but keep your negativity to yourself. You can bring down those of us who aren't jaded.

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Pole Dancing...Political Dancing That Is...

Every 4 years, I find my self tossed and batted back and forth, round and round, like a record player, right round round round. For a couple of reasons, really...





First, of course, for whom shall I vote? Which political enthusiast shall win my oh, so important ballot? It seems so easy for many. I, on the other hand, feel like I'm sitting in front of an essay question on a 7th grade science test for which I hadn't studied.
Whut?
How does soil quality effect the characteristics of an ecosystem.?

Uhhh...IDK?

I just don't know! I don't. I can say which way I'm leaning, but I can't say for certain. I never agree with a candidate so completely that he (or she) can guarantee that I'll vote for him (or her).

Well, sometimes I know I'm not voting for someone. Nothing would have gotten me to vote for Hillary. That's one of the reasons I included the parenthetical PC stuff in the paragraph above. Trust me, I have no problem voting for a woman. I have a problem voting for Hillary.

But even if Hillary was the Democratic candidate, I still couldn't say who was getting my vote. I can't look at these preidential elections as just Democrat vs. Republican. There are other candidates completely able to do the job.

Which is where I get frustrated...which is where the second aspect of an election year has me bouncing back and forth like a game of Pong. The slow version. Seeingly endless. Back. Forth. Back. Forth.
Yake me to your bleeder...I mean...Leader...
I get filled with bursting pride. We, the people, get to decide who is going to be our leader! When the Martians come and say, "Take us to your leader," we get to decide, now, who that leader will be!

And the President, our chosen leader, thinks, "You would ask why they want to see your leader, right?"

But then, since we hired the Prez, aren't we his collective boss? So then could we say, "You're looking at him (or her), Sngzzbordlak. The President? Shoot, we can fire him in a few years. He ain't the boss!"

And like a Pride of lions, I feel...um...that word that means you feel a reasonable or justifiable sense of your worth or importance...shoot...can't think of the word...but what you imagine when you seed a Pride of lions...

Let's move on, shall we?

Bink...BonkThen, bonk, I get Ponged in the other direction...toward frustration.

Why do I only hear about McCain and Obama? What about Chuck Baldwin of the Constitution Party, or Cynthia McKinney of the Green Party, Bob Barr of the Libertarian Party, Ted Weill of the Reform Party? There are plenty of third parties from which to choose. We barely hear anything about them.

I knew someone who said she didn't vote because the Republicans and the Democrats were basically the same beast...that frustrates me. Not because of her cynicism of the two big parties, but her cynicism that voting something other than Republican or Democrat is a waste of time.

Plenty of people have said that voting for a third party is throwing your vote away. "I'd vote Libertarian, but that would take a vote away from this guy that I'd rather win over the other guy." That frustrates me.

Bob Barr of the Libertarian Party...Not my father-in-law.My father-in-law says that we should have an election system where we rank the candidates and when it's clear that one candidate won't win, your vote shifts to your second choice. So if you really wanted Cynthia McKinney to win, you put her first, but then if it's clear she's not going to win, your vote would shift to, say, Obama. He says that system is in place...somewhere. I was distracted at the time and didn't ask where so I could look into it. If you know of a place where that type of electoral system is used, please let me know.

It doesn't sound bad, but I'd wonder when it would be decided that your vote move on to the next choice. I do agree that it would help out the third parties because it would eliminate the fear that you're throwing away a vote, although that whole concept of a vote being thrown away because the candidate doesn't win is flawed. I mean, if I vote for the loser, I didn't throw my vote away. But...

Chuck Baldwin of the Constitution PartySo then I thought, take the rating system, but assign points. First choice gets 3 points, second choice gets 2, and third gets 1. You can choose only one candidate if you want, but he still only gets the 3 points. But I don't know that that would work either.

Then I thought of online quizzes. Which Superhero are you? and Which Civil War General are You? and such...You're asked your opinion on certain topics, and based on your answers, you find out you're General Stonewall, who could be either a Civil War general or a superhero...

So then on election day, you go through and answer questions about the issues. Your opinion on the issues tells you which candidate most matches your stance. Then, image is gone. The candidates would simply try and persuade us to their stance on the issues and the mudslinging wouldn't be necessary because, I'm not voting McCain, or Obama, or any Cynthia McKinney of the Green Party.person...I'm voting on the issues. Then possible political candidates who would do a great job, but can't get the nomination because, like Yang Peiyi who sang at the Olympics but wasn't seen, they just weren't cute enough.

Ted Weill of the Reform PartyBut then, that wouldn't work. Someone would find out they voted for Bob Barr and they'd say, "But I didn't want to vote for him. I don't like him." Because, let's face it, it's become a popularity contest. And the mudslinging means more to us than the issues...And no, I'm not claiming to be exempt from that. I get caught up in it too.

So, let's just keep spinning around that pole...Because, I don't know for whom I'm voting. If you do know, I hope you know why. I hope I know why when the time comes, too.


Iz Only Doon Dis For Colleg Monee

If you are also frustrated that people seem uninterested in voting whether it be because of apathy or disillusionment, try and set them straight with this t-shirt inspired by the Buddha quote, "With our thoughts, we make the world."

Frustrated that few people vote, but then everyone seems ready to complain? Confronted by people who say, what's the point of voting? It's not like anything will change? Set them straight with this shirt with an extension of Buddha's quote that, With our thoughts, we make the world. Remind them that with our votes, we make the country.


This shirt reminds them that we are the ones who run the country, and encourages them to vote on November 4th. Available from Attack of the Radioactive Tees.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Farming is NOT for the Weak of Heart

An old, proud house stands lookout over a gravelly road it has watched for 140 Years. A tranquility surrounds the quaint house.

The Burrow. An Idyllic Scene of Simple Living.
A dog barks intermitently in the distance at a random squirrel, or perhaps a fox scurrying by. Birds chirp happily, diving and looping playfully over your head. Surely a simple scene of serenity.

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!

What happened? Find out on the Cool Shade Farm Blog

Friday, August 01, 2008

Do School Districts Foster Drama?

I received an update on Guilderland from an Associate Asshole. (Don't worry, that's a term of respect 'round these here parts.)

Anyway, Guilderland High School principal Michael Paolino may be losing his job. Right now he's on administrative leave and still earning his big bucks. It seems Paolino is guilty of the same things that Ann-Marie McManus and Matt Nelligan are getting transferred to the middle school for doing: making racist and homophobic comments.

My Associate Asshole says she figures he'll just get transferred, which seems to be the Guilderland way. These accusations, assuming they are true, could explain how the history department got away with their "locker room mentality" of which they were accused. If the accusations are correct, and considering my source has previously told me, "he was the biggest sexist and would make comments about high school girls," I'm inclined to think it is, then he should be fired.

So it makes me wonder...Do school districts breed drama? Do adults working in school districts get infected with teenage immaturity?

I ask these questions because my own district is far from drama free. Not only did we have the High School principal announce his resignation for the end of this next school year over a gay-lesbian club in his school, another high school principal is under attack, this time from the public. He's being accused of putting portables near the main road to try and garner support for a bond referendum for money after last year's attempt failed. Meanwhile, today it was announced that our superintendent resigned. There is no official word on why, but there is one major rumor which seems to fit. I'm not going to share, because it would be improper to spread rumors, but let's just say it's high drama stuff.

Sometimes it makes sense...Mascoutah, Illinois had controversy this year over a middle school girl putting her arm around the shoulders of another student violating the district's "No Touchy Rule" (My term, not theirs), over the cheerleading team not being allowed to compete in the state cheerleading competition because it violated the "7th Day Rule" which said there could be no activities on Sunday, and finally for keeping schools open during a "debilitating winter storm" when every other district in the area shut down for safety reasons. I guess God didn't allow the weather to keep Jesus out of school...

Marysville, Washington may have a problem with its African-American superintendent.

And don't forget John Freshwater of Mount Vernon Middle School in Columbua, Ohio who refused to remove a Bible from his desk and branded crosses onto students skin.

Clark County in Nevada had a sex scandal possibly covered up where a hall monitor received a blow job from a senior who refused comment until threatened that if she didn't speak up, she wouldn't graduate. So she shared details, but when she didn't pass everything the principal changed the grades.

And in Texas did McKinney North High School principal give preferential treatment to 5 cheerleaders who had MySpace pictures showing them drinking, showing off panties, and playing with penis-shaped candles and condoms? The damning detail is that one of the "Fab Five" is the principal's daughter!

So what's with all the drama? Too many cooks in the kitchen. That's all I can figure. Well, too many cooks and politicians. Ok, here's how it goes. Students are answerable to teachers, teachers to principals, principals to district officers, district officers to the superintendent, the superintendent to the school board, the school board to the public. But then if the public doesn't like what is happening in the schools with their children, then that makes the students the key in an insane ouroborous. Students become a skeleton key to be manipulated. They know this. They complain to the right people and enough, then they can exert influence where normally they would be at the bottom of the totem pole. So, who's in charge? Which head is in charge of the many-headed Hydra? How does the Pushmi-pullyu know which way to go?

One of my principals had teachers running to the district office because they didn't like his decisions. He didn't do anything wrong. He just lost the popularity vote. Some teachers left our school this year and told a prospective new employee she shouldn't take the job because they didn't like the new principal either. They want to be in charge, the principal answerable to them, but some of what they wanted didn't mesh with what the district was asking of the principal. Too many (dick)heads in the kitchen...

And then politics which keep those with real power from making decisions for the good of the children and making decisions based on how the appearance looks. You must keep up appearances, after all.

But I wonder...do those who get involved in education tend to be trapped at the age they teach? Or do they revert to that maturity level? Is that why there are so many tantrums when we don't get our way? Why those who do wrong get a time out? Why so many seem to make stupic teen mistakes involving sex and bullying like so many teens?

Whatever the answer, this is not a condemnation of the public school system, because it happens in private schools as well. My former principal who got fired because of my coworkers didn't like his policies went on to a private school where it was discovered one of the teachers was supplying students with alcohol.

If you have some school drama you'd like to share, let me know. In the mean time, I'm going to buy some more chewing gum, because there's a coworker whose hair I want to spit it into, and put Icey-Hot in the PE teacher's jockstrap.

Mascoutah

New Guilderland story

Maysville

Clark County

McKinney North High School